I have never perused the self help aisle of a bookstore, but recently I made an exception. I purchased Bethenny Frankel's book Naturally Thin. Let me just say that I have really liked this book. It is not a diet book, but a way to put yourself into a new mindset. It is supposed to be a mindset of how naturally thin people think when it comes to food. Basically saying, naturally thin people don't really think all that much about what food they can have or can't have. If you binge for a day, don't beat yourself up about it and stop eating healthy because you are ruined. Just be better the next day. Don't not eat foods that you really want to eat because you think you are not supposed to have them, just eat them, taste them and then you are satisfied. And...don't worry, you will always have a chance to eat fries so don't think you need to eat every last one.
So I took my new knowledge out to a restaurant for the first time. I did my best to follow her naturally thin rules. The restaurant was a brewery where they brew 8 different kinds of beers. There were four that I wanted to taste, so instead of ordering four pints, I opted for ordering 4 oz of each kind. Also, I really wanted the calamari appetizer. So I ordered it, had two or three pieces and then passed the rest around the table. The menu was large so there were many options for my entree. There were sandwiches, salads, pasta dishes, and what they are famous for which is their pizzas. I could have gone the diet route and ordered a salad, but salads are not always that healthy, and it really wasn't what I wanted to eat. So I weighed my options and I was down to a grilled chicken sandwich, shrimp tacos, and pizza. The sandwich and tacos came with fries, and I honestly didn't really want fries, but if they were there I was sure that I would eat them anyway. Also I think the pizza would taste much better than the other two options, so I went with the pizza. I got the mini mediterranean that was loaded with good vegetables. Because of the beer and the calamari, I got full really quickly. So rather than stuffing my face with the mini pizza (which did happen to be mini), I ate until I was full. I canceled my membership in the clean plate club, and didn't feel bad about not getting a box to take it home. Prior to this book, I would have taken it home because I knew I was going out and would want late night food. Instead, I offered it to a friend. It didn't go to waste and more importantly it didn't go on my waistline.
So even though I ate pizza and beer and calamari at a restaurant, I didn't feel bad about it. I really like this new way of thinking. I can eat whatever I want and that is kind of liberating. I will admit that over exams and the holidays I did a lot of excessive eating, but since I have been back to Gainesville, I have gotten down to a comfortable weight and well on my way to getting back to where I was last summer.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Resolutions By the Way Side
I say by the way side because I feel like that is a saying, but if it is not, my bad. I simply mean that I have discarded mine. It is 16 days into the new year and my resolution is gone already. Good or bad? My resolution was to make better use of my time. As you have read before, I don't have a lot of obligations on my time these days. I attend class only 11 hours out of the week. I don't have a job or kids to take care of (other than my oh so needy Westie), so it seems like I should be taking advantage of all this time and do amazing things. Well to implement this resolution, I decided that I was going to stop taking naps, read my book alot more, exercise at least once everyday, and only watch two hours of television everyday.
Well I changed my mind. I don't know if it was because I wasn't following my resolution very well, or to the fact that maybe I have been thinking about this extra time all wrong. Rather than forcing myself to do things that other people think I should be doing, I think maybe I should take advantage of this time to be able to do things that I actually want to do. If I am tired, I have the ability to go lay on my bad and take a wonderful long nap (assuming Tillie is willing to let me do so). If there is a good movie on the tv in the afternoon, I should be able to watch it. If I don't feel like exercising everyday, I shouldn't have to. Now don't get me wrong. I don't actually plan on spending everyday napping and watching tv, but on certain days, maybe that is all I want to do. And, after this first week back at school, I have already started to plan a few new experiences for myself. I have signed up for a ballroom dancing class. Ten of us from my program will be learning to waltz, fox trot, cha cha, rumba, tango, and swing dance. I am super excited about this because I am head over heels obsessed with dancing with the stars and am still trying to come up with a way I can be famous so that I can be on that show. I also have decided to join the coed softball team with the stipulation that my team members are not allowed to yell at me. I played softball in the summers on the law firm leagues, but our team was pitching to us, and honestly, they were more about socializing than actually playing the game. But, my pink glove and I will be out on the field giving it our best effort.
So I guess, if I am going to say that I have a resolution, I plan to do what I want to do while I still can.
Well I changed my mind. I don't know if it was because I wasn't following my resolution very well, or to the fact that maybe I have been thinking about this extra time all wrong. Rather than forcing myself to do things that other people think I should be doing, I think maybe I should take advantage of this time to be able to do things that I actually want to do. If I am tired, I have the ability to go lay on my bad and take a wonderful long nap (assuming Tillie is willing to let me do so). If there is a good movie on the tv in the afternoon, I should be able to watch it. If I don't feel like exercising everyday, I shouldn't have to. Now don't get me wrong. I don't actually plan on spending everyday napping and watching tv, but on certain days, maybe that is all I want to do. And, after this first week back at school, I have already started to plan a few new experiences for myself. I have signed up for a ballroom dancing class. Ten of us from my program will be learning to waltz, fox trot, cha cha, rumba, tango, and swing dance. I am super excited about this because I am head over heels obsessed with dancing with the stars and am still trying to come up with a way I can be famous so that I can be on that show. I also have decided to join the coed softball team with the stipulation that my team members are not allowed to yell at me. I played softball in the summers on the law firm leagues, but our team was pitching to us, and honestly, they were more about socializing than actually playing the game. But, my pink glove and I will be out on the field giving it our best effort.
So I guess, if I am going to say that I have a resolution, I plan to do what I want to do while I still can.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Where Do I Go From Here?
So I know I said I wasn't going to focus on my career anymore...but this is all very new and scary for me. The area of law that I had planned to specialize in since undergrad, and most of my legal career has been devoted to is slowly becoming obsolete. I am currently spending another $30,000 to kick up my specialization in this area to the next level. So...with my savings currently dwindling faster and faster and no hope for a job in this specialization anytime in the near future or even in the next 3 years, what should my next step be?
I mean I guess it would be silly to stop working towards my degree. Maybe things will change in the practice area. Maybe Congress will figure out that at some point they are going to have to raise revenue to reduce the deficit. I have already spent $15,000 dollars on the first semester. I have signed a year lease in Gainesville. I could really use that student loan money. Also, I have already told EVERYBODY that I am getting a masters in tax law, so if I stop there will be the whispers about me being a quitter.
But since I have NO money except for borrowed funds to pay rent, gas and groceries, I have to figure out at some point how I am going to get a paycheck eventually. So if I continue my job search, what kind of job should I be searching for? Should I keep lying to myself that I am going to be a tax lawyer? Should I try to get a different law job and fake being good at litigation? Should I plan on starting my own law practice to further myself in debt and starve for the next 5 years living with my parents? Should I go back to my undergraduate degree and become a banker or do something in Finance? Or should I just be an aerobics instructor?
I don't know what to do. I know I am not supposed to be focusing on this, but I feel irresponsible for not having some sort of plan of what I am going to do with my life. HELP!?!?
I mean I guess it would be silly to stop working towards my degree. Maybe things will change in the practice area. Maybe Congress will figure out that at some point they are going to have to raise revenue to reduce the deficit. I have already spent $15,000 dollars on the first semester. I have signed a year lease in Gainesville. I could really use that student loan money. Also, I have already told EVERYBODY that I am getting a masters in tax law, so if I stop there will be the whispers about me being a quitter.
But since I have NO money except for borrowed funds to pay rent, gas and groceries, I have to figure out at some point how I am going to get a paycheck eventually. So if I continue my job search, what kind of job should I be searching for? Should I keep lying to myself that I am going to be a tax lawyer? Should I try to get a different law job and fake being good at litigation? Should I plan on starting my own law practice to further myself in debt and starve for the next 5 years living with my parents? Should I go back to my undergraduate degree and become a banker or do something in Finance? Or should I just be an aerobics instructor?
I don't know what to do. I know I am not supposed to be focusing on this, but I feel irresponsible for not having some sort of plan of what I am going to do with my life. HELP!?!?
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Lists of Good Intentions
"What are your hobbies?" has always been an awkward question for me. I don't really having any fun ones like sailing, horseback riding, etc. or even pathetic ones like knitting or scrapbooking. I end up responding with reading and working out...but what I really want to say is that I watch a lot of TV, eat too much, and drink with my friends. However, I think I may have figured out what my hobbies are. I love planning and making lists. I have excel spreadsheets that plan my life out in 30 minute intervals and goals for myself for months and years in advance. I also enjoy reading magazines and internet articles about health, exercise, and nutrition. I love knowing of ways that I can make myself better, live longer, and overall feel healthier.
However, I don't actually act on either of these hobbies. I may do the first couple of things on my lists, but I get distracted on the other ones and do something else. Then I get distracted making a modified list. If you looked at my excel spreadsheet for exam studying, you would think there is no way that she doesn't ace these exams because she has thoroughly studied every little bit of material that was covered in the class. However, instead of sticking to my list, I end up watching tv, eat too much, and drink with friends.
Also, if I told people that my hobby was nutrition and fitness, they would take one look at me and figure I am lying. I don't exactly have the body of someone who treats her body like a temple and I am not one that really lives an active healthly lifestyle. I read these articles and take mental notes of things that I should be doing to be healthier. Also, I don't mind telling other people of ways to be healthier, but instead of acting on them, I end up watching tv, eat too much, and drink with friends.
So last night...what did I do? Well I didn't go out drinking with friends because it is almost time for my last exam. But...I did stray from my exam study schedule excel spreadsheet, and I sat down and read about 6 or 7 Shape and Self magazines. They were chocked full of workout routines, healthy recipes, and general ways to live a better life. So what did I do next? I sat down and started making lists of ways I can be healthier next semester. I planned a gym/P90x schedule. I fit in time each day to take my dog on a 30 minute walk. I planned how much tv time I am going to allow myself each night(because people who watch more than 3 hours of tv a day have much higher % chance of dying of heart related problems). I planned when I will do my ab workouts(I will get that six pack that those girls have in the magazines). I made a list of healthy breakfast and lunch ideas that I should be eating during the week. I even planned when I will be drinking my 8 glasses of water a day (Jennifer Aniston drinks 100oz of water a day). So, if I finally stick to my lists and schedules, I am going to be a bad ass healthy woman...lets just hope I don't instead watch tv, eat too much, and drink with my friends (well maybe not drink too much with my friends).
However, I don't actually act on either of these hobbies. I may do the first couple of things on my lists, but I get distracted on the other ones and do something else. Then I get distracted making a modified list. If you looked at my excel spreadsheet for exam studying, you would think there is no way that she doesn't ace these exams because she has thoroughly studied every little bit of material that was covered in the class. However, instead of sticking to my list, I end up watching tv, eat too much, and drink with friends.
Also, if I told people that my hobby was nutrition and fitness, they would take one look at me and figure I am lying. I don't exactly have the body of someone who treats her body like a temple and I am not one that really lives an active healthly lifestyle. I read these articles and take mental notes of things that I should be doing to be healthier. Also, I don't mind telling other people of ways to be healthier, but instead of acting on them, I end up watching tv, eat too much, and drink with friends.
So last night...what did I do? Well I didn't go out drinking with friends because it is almost time for my last exam. But...I did stray from my exam study schedule excel spreadsheet, and I sat down and read about 6 or 7 Shape and Self magazines. They were chocked full of workout routines, healthy recipes, and general ways to live a better life. So what did I do next? I sat down and started making lists of ways I can be healthier next semester. I planned a gym/P90x schedule. I fit in time each day to take my dog on a 30 minute walk. I planned how much tv time I am going to allow myself each night(because people who watch more than 3 hours of tv a day have much higher % chance of dying of heart related problems). I planned when I will do my ab workouts(I will get that six pack that those girls have in the magazines). I made a list of healthy breakfast and lunch ideas that I should be eating during the week. I even planned when I will be drinking my 8 glasses of water a day (Jennifer Aniston drinks 100oz of water a day). So, if I finally stick to my lists and schedules, I am going to be a bad ass healthy woman...lets just hope I don't instead watch tv, eat too much, and drink with my friends (well maybe not drink too much with my friends).
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tara
So one of my all time favorite movies is Gone With The Wind. Three hours of being on an emotional roller coaster while watching the strongest female lead character I have ever watched. Lara Croft has nothing on Scarlett O'Hara. Anyway, in the movie Scarlett is said to get her strength from her home of Tara. That is exactly the way I now feel about South Carolina.
I have had a rough week this week filled with regrets of my decision to be in Gainesville. I have been reevaluating whether this year in Florida is actually worth putting my life on hiatus a little bit. Especially now that I have changed my perspective on things and my career aspirations are not as important to me anymore. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, what I am thankful for is getting the opportunity to leave for South Carolina today to see all of my friends and family.
I love South Carolina. It has all the people that are close to me in it. I feel safe there and know that I can do great things there and people want me to do great things there. I know my hometown is Florence, but it doesn't matter whether I am in Florence, Columbia, Charleston, or Clemson because I feel like I have family in all of those places.
So I am super excited today to make my way back home to get some strength before I come back to Florida to tackle these exams despite all my feelings of regret.
I have had a rough week this week filled with regrets of my decision to be in Gainesville. I have been reevaluating whether this year in Florida is actually worth putting my life on hiatus a little bit. Especially now that I have changed my perspective on things and my career aspirations are not as important to me anymore. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, what I am thankful for is getting the opportunity to leave for South Carolina today to see all of my friends and family.
I love South Carolina. It has all the people that are close to me in it. I feel safe there and know that I can do great things there and people want me to do great things there. I know my hometown is Florence, but it doesn't matter whether I am in Florence, Columbia, Charleston, or Clemson because I feel like I have family in all of those places.
So I am super excited today to make my way back home to get some strength before I come back to Florida to tackle these exams despite all my feelings of regret.
Monday, November 22, 2010
I've Let Myself Go
My freshman year in college I lost 10 pounds. I broke the freshman 15 stereotype. Mainly because I wanted to have breast reduction surgery and my mother told me I had to lose weight before I could go through with it. Well...do not worry because I made up for it my sophomore year by gaining back those 10 pounds plus packing on 5+ more. My debutante portrait from August and my pictures from the actual ball in December are completely different. The ones in December looks as if I ate my former self in August. Well anyway, I am back to my sophomore in college weight.
There is no excuse for my plumpness. I am 25 years old, and I have a high metabolism and gravity on my side. Also, I have nothing but time these days. Not to mention free access to two really nice university fitness cetners, a small gym in my apartment complex, and every fitness dvd known to man in my living room. Yet I spent my weekend consuming an entire pizza plus breadsticks. Granted the pizza did last from Friday to Sunday, but still I had no help in eating the entire thing.
I am so mad at myself that I am letting myself get fat again. I have very few youthful days left, and I should be making the most of them. I should be eating healthier and working out more and really taking care of my body. I also feel really guilty when I know that my dad woke up at 5 am to run 5 miles and my mother hit the gym at 6:30 to lift weights and run on the treadmill. But I still don't have the motivation to get my act in shape. I am constantly saying to myself why start now...exams are starting, its the holidays, I am busy on the weekends so I just end up ruining it. I am full of excuses of why I have started treating my body better. Any ideas on how I can get my act together?
There is no excuse for my plumpness. I am 25 years old, and I have a high metabolism and gravity on my side. Also, I have nothing but time these days. Not to mention free access to two really nice university fitness cetners, a small gym in my apartment complex, and every fitness dvd known to man in my living room. Yet I spent my weekend consuming an entire pizza plus breadsticks. Granted the pizza did last from Friday to Sunday, but still I had no help in eating the entire thing.
I am so mad at myself that I am letting myself get fat again. I have very few youthful days left, and I should be making the most of them. I should be eating healthier and working out more and really taking care of my body. I also feel really guilty when I know that my dad woke up at 5 am to run 5 miles and my mother hit the gym at 6:30 to lift weights and run on the treadmill. But I still don't have the motivation to get my act in shape. I am constantly saying to myself why start now...exams are starting, its the holidays, I am busy on the weekends so I just end up ruining it. I am full of excuses of why I have started treating my body better. Any ideas on how I can get my act together?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Putting It Out There
Ok Wow! I have not posted in an extremely long time. I knew once I told people that I had started a blog I would immediately stop posting. The thing is, I started this blog because I didn't have much of a life in Gainesville and I thought it would be a good way to connect with the outside world. Well that has changed. I have a ton of friends here and have been able to fill my calander with many activities. Since I left you, I have managed to put a little drama in my life. I have made a few mistakes and lapses in judgment, but I do not care to bore you with those. But I have also thrown parties, attended sporting events, visited great friends and had great friends visit.
Now things have calmed down a bit. Exams start in three weeks and I am officially in catch up super study mode. But during one of my procrastinating breaks, I figured I would jot a few things down. Unfortunately, I have made one of the biggest mistakes you can make during exam time. I have started watching a TV show. You would think that I would learn my lesson since the Lost distraction of 08 when my gpa dropped from a 3.8 to a 3.4 after one semester. But no...I have started watching the teen drama One Tree Hill. Why One Tree Hill you may ask ... well, i am a little obsessed with Soapnet and they have old reruns of teen soaps such as 90210, the OC, gilmore girls, and One Tree Hill. Well I am obsessed with the first three (my season 10 dvds of 90210 came in last week) so I thought I should at least watch the one tree hill episodes. Well disaster becasue there are 8 seasons and 22 episodes in each season. What an oxymoron to study the tax code while you are watching teenagers go through their drama.
Warning...I am about to get a little deep on you. So during all of these episodes the characters are constantly talking about love and relationships. Over and over they keep saying that nothing else matters but the search for love or the search for that one person you can completely immerse yourself in. Well this has never been my mentality, hence my extreme committment issues. But I can't help but think that my jaded mentality about love comes about because I have for at least the last 8 years (probably more) been so focused about what my next move in my quest for the perfect career is going to be. In high school, I had to get into the perfect college and pick the perfect major for a resume/application for law school. Then go to the perfect law school to help me to create connections in a state where I want to practice. Then go to the perfect tax school so that I can beef up my resume to help me land the perfect job. Well news flash to me, but the last 8 years or so have left me with nothing but unemployment and 90,000 dollars worth of debt. So maybe I was focusing on the wrong thing. I have so many friends that weren't so one minded these past 8 years. These friends have found their great love and have started families and have managed to find a job that they love. For those of my friends that haven't found their great love, they have at least put their name in the hat and have grown to be greater people and are one step closer to finding that someone.
So... now that One Tree Hill has helped me come to the realization that the path that I was heading was not working out for me so much, I want to put my name in the hat. I have a friend that has a blog in which she talks about being off the market and in the moment for a year, well I have been off the market for my whole life, and I am ready to put my heart out there. I think I am ready to search for that one great love. Now don't get me wrong, I am still going to finish tax school and attempt to find a job that I love, but my career is going to stop being the driving force in all of the decisions that I make for my life.
Now that I have gotten deep enough for one day, I am going to go back to studying the tax code while watching some more episodes of One Tree Hill.
Now things have calmed down a bit. Exams start in three weeks and I am officially in catch up super study mode. But during one of my procrastinating breaks, I figured I would jot a few things down. Unfortunately, I have made one of the biggest mistakes you can make during exam time. I have started watching a TV show. You would think that I would learn my lesson since the Lost distraction of 08 when my gpa dropped from a 3.8 to a 3.4 after one semester. But no...I have started watching the teen drama One Tree Hill. Why One Tree Hill you may ask ... well, i am a little obsessed with Soapnet and they have old reruns of teen soaps such as 90210, the OC, gilmore girls, and One Tree Hill. Well I am obsessed with the first three (my season 10 dvds of 90210 came in last week) so I thought I should at least watch the one tree hill episodes. Well disaster becasue there are 8 seasons and 22 episodes in each season. What an oxymoron to study the tax code while you are watching teenagers go through their drama.
Warning...I am about to get a little deep on you. So during all of these episodes the characters are constantly talking about love and relationships. Over and over they keep saying that nothing else matters but the search for love or the search for that one person you can completely immerse yourself in. Well this has never been my mentality, hence my extreme committment issues. But I can't help but think that my jaded mentality about love comes about because I have for at least the last 8 years (probably more) been so focused about what my next move in my quest for the perfect career is going to be. In high school, I had to get into the perfect college and pick the perfect major for a resume/application for law school. Then go to the perfect law school to help me to create connections in a state where I want to practice. Then go to the perfect tax school so that I can beef up my resume to help me land the perfect job. Well news flash to me, but the last 8 years or so have left me with nothing but unemployment and 90,000 dollars worth of debt. So maybe I was focusing on the wrong thing. I have so many friends that weren't so one minded these past 8 years. These friends have found their great love and have started families and have managed to find a job that they love. For those of my friends that haven't found their great love, they have at least put their name in the hat and have grown to be greater people and are one step closer to finding that someone.
So... now that One Tree Hill has helped me come to the realization that the path that I was heading was not working out for me so much, I want to put my name in the hat. I have a friend that has a blog in which she talks about being off the market and in the moment for a year, well I have been off the market for my whole life, and I am ready to put my heart out there. I think I am ready to search for that one great love. Now don't get me wrong, I am still going to finish tax school and attempt to find a job that I love, but my career is going to stop being the driving force in all of the decisions that I make for my life.
Now that I have gotten deep enough for one day, I am going to go back to studying the tax code while watching some more episodes of One Tree Hill.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)