So one of my all time favorite movies is Gone With The Wind. Three hours of being on an emotional roller coaster while watching the strongest female lead character I have ever watched. Lara Croft has nothing on Scarlett O'Hara. Anyway, in the movie Scarlett is said to get her strength from her home of Tara. That is exactly the way I now feel about South Carolina.
I have had a rough week this week filled with regrets of my decision to be in Gainesville. I have been reevaluating whether this year in Florida is actually worth putting my life on hiatus a little bit. Especially now that I have changed my perspective on things and my career aspirations are not as important to me anymore. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, what I am thankful for is getting the opportunity to leave for South Carolina today to see all of my friends and family.
I love South Carolina. It has all the people that are close to me in it. I feel safe there and know that I can do great things there and people want me to do great things there. I know my hometown is Florence, but it doesn't matter whether I am in Florence, Columbia, Charleston, or Clemson because I feel like I have family in all of those places.
So I am super excited today to make my way back home to get some strength before I come back to Florida to tackle these exams despite all my feelings of regret.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
I've Let Myself Go
My freshman year in college I lost 10 pounds. I broke the freshman 15 stereotype. Mainly because I wanted to have breast reduction surgery and my mother told me I had to lose weight before I could go through with it. Well...do not worry because I made up for it my sophomore year by gaining back those 10 pounds plus packing on 5+ more. My debutante portrait from August and my pictures from the actual ball in December are completely different. The ones in December looks as if I ate my former self in August. Well anyway, I am back to my sophomore in college weight.
There is no excuse for my plumpness. I am 25 years old, and I have a high metabolism and gravity on my side. Also, I have nothing but time these days. Not to mention free access to two really nice university fitness cetners, a small gym in my apartment complex, and every fitness dvd known to man in my living room. Yet I spent my weekend consuming an entire pizza plus breadsticks. Granted the pizza did last from Friday to Sunday, but still I had no help in eating the entire thing.
I am so mad at myself that I am letting myself get fat again. I have very few youthful days left, and I should be making the most of them. I should be eating healthier and working out more and really taking care of my body. I also feel really guilty when I know that my dad woke up at 5 am to run 5 miles and my mother hit the gym at 6:30 to lift weights and run on the treadmill. But I still don't have the motivation to get my act in shape. I am constantly saying to myself why start now...exams are starting, its the holidays, I am busy on the weekends so I just end up ruining it. I am full of excuses of why I have started treating my body better. Any ideas on how I can get my act together?
There is no excuse for my plumpness. I am 25 years old, and I have a high metabolism and gravity on my side. Also, I have nothing but time these days. Not to mention free access to two really nice university fitness cetners, a small gym in my apartment complex, and every fitness dvd known to man in my living room. Yet I spent my weekend consuming an entire pizza plus breadsticks. Granted the pizza did last from Friday to Sunday, but still I had no help in eating the entire thing.
I am so mad at myself that I am letting myself get fat again. I have very few youthful days left, and I should be making the most of them. I should be eating healthier and working out more and really taking care of my body. I also feel really guilty when I know that my dad woke up at 5 am to run 5 miles and my mother hit the gym at 6:30 to lift weights and run on the treadmill. But I still don't have the motivation to get my act in shape. I am constantly saying to myself why start now...exams are starting, its the holidays, I am busy on the weekends so I just end up ruining it. I am full of excuses of why I have started treating my body better. Any ideas on how I can get my act together?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Putting It Out There
Ok Wow! I have not posted in an extremely long time. I knew once I told people that I had started a blog I would immediately stop posting. The thing is, I started this blog because I didn't have much of a life in Gainesville and I thought it would be a good way to connect with the outside world. Well that has changed. I have a ton of friends here and have been able to fill my calander with many activities. Since I left you, I have managed to put a little drama in my life. I have made a few mistakes and lapses in judgment, but I do not care to bore you with those. But I have also thrown parties, attended sporting events, visited great friends and had great friends visit.
Now things have calmed down a bit. Exams start in three weeks and I am officially in catch up super study mode. But during one of my procrastinating breaks, I figured I would jot a few things down. Unfortunately, I have made one of the biggest mistakes you can make during exam time. I have started watching a TV show. You would think that I would learn my lesson since the Lost distraction of 08 when my gpa dropped from a 3.8 to a 3.4 after one semester. But no...I have started watching the teen drama One Tree Hill. Why One Tree Hill you may ask ... well, i am a little obsessed with Soapnet and they have old reruns of teen soaps such as 90210, the OC, gilmore girls, and One Tree Hill. Well I am obsessed with the first three (my season 10 dvds of 90210 came in last week) so I thought I should at least watch the one tree hill episodes. Well disaster becasue there are 8 seasons and 22 episodes in each season. What an oxymoron to study the tax code while you are watching teenagers go through their drama.
Warning...I am about to get a little deep on you. So during all of these episodes the characters are constantly talking about love and relationships. Over and over they keep saying that nothing else matters but the search for love or the search for that one person you can completely immerse yourself in. Well this has never been my mentality, hence my extreme committment issues. But I can't help but think that my jaded mentality about love comes about because I have for at least the last 8 years (probably more) been so focused about what my next move in my quest for the perfect career is going to be. In high school, I had to get into the perfect college and pick the perfect major for a resume/application for law school. Then go to the perfect law school to help me to create connections in a state where I want to practice. Then go to the perfect tax school so that I can beef up my resume to help me land the perfect job. Well news flash to me, but the last 8 years or so have left me with nothing but unemployment and 90,000 dollars worth of debt. So maybe I was focusing on the wrong thing. I have so many friends that weren't so one minded these past 8 years. These friends have found their great love and have started families and have managed to find a job that they love. For those of my friends that haven't found their great love, they have at least put their name in the hat and have grown to be greater people and are one step closer to finding that someone.
So... now that One Tree Hill has helped me come to the realization that the path that I was heading was not working out for me so much, I want to put my name in the hat. I have a friend that has a blog in which she talks about being off the market and in the moment for a year, well I have been off the market for my whole life, and I am ready to put my heart out there. I think I am ready to search for that one great love. Now don't get me wrong, I am still going to finish tax school and attempt to find a job that I love, but my career is going to stop being the driving force in all of the decisions that I make for my life.
Now that I have gotten deep enough for one day, I am going to go back to studying the tax code while watching some more episodes of One Tree Hill.
Now things have calmed down a bit. Exams start in three weeks and I am officially in catch up super study mode. But during one of my procrastinating breaks, I figured I would jot a few things down. Unfortunately, I have made one of the biggest mistakes you can make during exam time. I have started watching a TV show. You would think that I would learn my lesson since the Lost distraction of 08 when my gpa dropped from a 3.8 to a 3.4 after one semester. But no...I have started watching the teen drama One Tree Hill. Why One Tree Hill you may ask ... well, i am a little obsessed with Soapnet and they have old reruns of teen soaps such as 90210, the OC, gilmore girls, and One Tree Hill. Well I am obsessed with the first three (my season 10 dvds of 90210 came in last week) so I thought I should at least watch the one tree hill episodes. Well disaster becasue there are 8 seasons and 22 episodes in each season. What an oxymoron to study the tax code while you are watching teenagers go through their drama.
Warning...I am about to get a little deep on you. So during all of these episodes the characters are constantly talking about love and relationships. Over and over they keep saying that nothing else matters but the search for love or the search for that one person you can completely immerse yourself in. Well this has never been my mentality, hence my extreme committment issues. But I can't help but think that my jaded mentality about love comes about because I have for at least the last 8 years (probably more) been so focused about what my next move in my quest for the perfect career is going to be. In high school, I had to get into the perfect college and pick the perfect major for a resume/application for law school. Then go to the perfect law school to help me to create connections in a state where I want to practice. Then go to the perfect tax school so that I can beef up my resume to help me land the perfect job. Well news flash to me, but the last 8 years or so have left me with nothing but unemployment and 90,000 dollars worth of debt. So maybe I was focusing on the wrong thing. I have so many friends that weren't so one minded these past 8 years. These friends have found their great love and have started families and have managed to find a job that they love. For those of my friends that haven't found their great love, they have at least put their name in the hat and have grown to be greater people and are one step closer to finding that someone.
So... now that One Tree Hill has helped me come to the realization that the path that I was heading was not working out for me so much, I want to put my name in the hat. I have a friend that has a blog in which she talks about being off the market and in the moment for a year, well I have been off the market for my whole life, and I am ready to put my heart out there. I think I am ready to search for that one great love. Now don't get me wrong, I am still going to finish tax school and attempt to find a job that I love, but my career is going to stop being the driving force in all of the decisions that I make for my life.
Now that I have gotten deep enough for one day, I am going to go back to studying the tax code while watching some more episodes of One Tree Hill.
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